Conception and birth are divinely sacred experiences that involve the (children of the world) making an impact for the future of humanity as a whole. The responsibilities of parents are to not only guide our children, but openly be seen imperfectly and authentically and aligned with living consciously.
Creating humans is a serious and powerful gift and should never be taken lightly. Our children must be seen and honored. They have a purpose beyond us and it involves heart lead leadership, spiritually driven actions, and embracing a nonviolent compassionate way towards living and deeply loving. To gaze into the eyes of babies unlocks the souls innocence and deepens the heart. That lives in us all…since we were all once babies before.
Welcome to the birth story of Forest Sky Tabotabo born on a cool summer morning. He was born on the cusp of Leo into Virgo. He arrived Wednesday August 24, 2016 at 4:09 AM. Come join me in sharing in the natural and unique energy of birth with healing intentions, great openings, and the power of giving life.
Birth is a deeply intimate and private act. It deserves containment for holding space, intelligence to support the wisdom, and love to allow the natural unfolding to happen. We named our son Forest, named after what we love so much: the beauty and joys of the wilderness and healing peace of nature. His middle name is new addition that his older brother will add to his name as well.
In the final weeks of pregnancy, I experienced a lot of waiting and more waiting. My son’s guest date arrived and soon passed. My mind and body were eager, but also I was nervous because I was very ready to meet my boy. All I could do was wait and hold the highest and best intentions of ease, peace, short labor, no tearing, birthing at home, undisturbed, supported, and with LOVE, and that includes a supportive postpartum. I got just about all those…almost.
A few days before the birth of Forest I had acupuncture on a Sunday, (thank you divine doc Virginia Prior) and that Monday all day my plug was coming out. Yay! Otherwise known as the mucus plug and I was excited about it because this meant labor would start soon. Monday came and no labor and no baby. Really? You know that feeling especially if you have been in this place. Tuesday was busy all day and finally after a full day of non stop getting things done I decided to sit on the couch at 10:00PM and had a feeling not to go to bed. I just sat in the dark room thinking. Rain was sleeping and put himself to bed for the first time. It must have been a sign.
At 10:20PM something was happening. I felt deep energy moving around my abdomen. I told Rene this could be contractions. After about 10 minutes more contractions came. I was beyond THRILLED!!! I could already feel this labor was different from birthing Rain. The intensity was more then just mild cramping. I texted my doula and midwives, but my eagerness had me call them sooner then later.
I could feel the contractions or surges of birth building up with intensity. Rene was keeping track of all contractions and they continued to get closer and closer. In the resting times or the in between the contracting energy, I would feel high and very euphoric. I image it is all the birth hormones that did not get disrupted by my environment or any medications. I had permission to deeply stay connected and tune inward to my bodies natural system. The beginning stages of labor seemed easy, and then it became harder, but not before it became pleasurable and felt good. I will explain more about that later.
After midnight the midwives arrived and my doula arrived; Great thing was my doula was an apprentice midwife to my midwives and dear friend. It was a triple bonus!!! Friend, doula, and midwife student. The midwives prepared the space and set up the water pool in my healing room. My healing room is a small office that I work from and it is a sacred space that feels separate from the rest of the house energy. My angelic birth team was Beth Cannon, Laura Monroe, and Tasha Boyd. Wendy Sugs my bestie sister came to help. She was on Rain duty and in care of my first son.
My labor was mostly me glued to the big exercise ball. I bounced on the ball to help with contractions and used my special birth spray that was made for me and my baby by Leeta and her healing mists of flowers, stones, and crystal essences. I bounced and rocked on the ball in the healing room and ended up in the living room between the couch and TV. The midwives kept an eye on me without over intervening and asked permission to check baby’s heart with monitor in beginning and baby did perfect with each contraction. I did not doubt that he would. I kept my intuition open to listen and guide his body and my body in a loving collaboration. Sometimes babies do not do well with contractions and I often wonder if it is because mother gets stressed or feared by her body and support of her birth team. That leads to other unintended interventions.
As the night came, so did more contractions and they were getting closer and closer. I discovered that my contractions became more manageable and pleasurable. I would have never ever imaged that possibility. It was no orgasmic birth, but at one point around 2 hours before the push phase began I felt this swirling nice feeling in my hips as I continued to bounce on the ball with each contraction. I noticed my breath went from heavy to normal. I could feel this pleasurable feeling as I moved with the energy of my body. It was great because it allowed me to rest and be present even more for the next part of labor and birth.
Labor is hard work and I was reminded why it was called labor. I am no exception to the pain and sweat upon my brow. I learned in the moments how to manage it and use it productively and wisely. It truly begins with the mind and an allowing of the body for all to work together. I did have to engage with my mind and move between pain body and spirit body freedom. I had to bring my energy down instead of upward. It helped to have music playing and it was an Empowered Dance set. It had instruments that made you want to groove and move. I also had yoga music from Snatam Kaur playing.
I recall the closer to meeting my son my thoughts become jumbled and my instincts became stronger on birthing him outward. I remember feeling grateful during early labor because for a moment when I looked around the dark lite room and saw everyone with eyes closed and going inward. I felt incredibly thankful for being HOME. I could not allow myself such vulnerability without being at home. I know in a hospital I could have never been able to birth my way and with such healing support. I feel very strong about that and that alone made my birth amazing and powerful!
Getting closer to meeting Forest in body continued and I did not hold any strong intentions for a water birth, but my healing room is where the birthing pool was set up by the midwives. I loved the big ball and how it made me feel and how it allowed motion with my feet and legs. I feared that the water would not provide my land movements. I also held a fear from the 1st birth in where I transferred from birth pool to hospital. That old program seemed to show up and felt like some superstitious energies praying upon my thoughts. I decided to stay on exercise ball and things moved quickly. I did at some point look at clock at 3:00AM and wondered how long the labor would be. At this time I went deep into birth and was going to do whatever I needed to meet my son. I could feel with each contraction I had a need to push down or bare down on bottom. It felt really good to push down in each contraction and it was not scary or painful. It felt normal and natural.
I moved from ball to birthing stool because I was asked if I wanted the stool. I agreed to try it out. The stool was great because it allowed me to open my legs over it and use my body weight to push down. After a few pushes I found my way deeper inward. I could feel sweat forming on my head and it was a big workout. I closed my eyes and moved inward with the urge to continue pushing. I remember Beth telling me softly and firm that Forest was ready to be born. Her eyes connected with mine and I worked with my body and my son to birth him into the world.
The midwives were like angelic saints to me all kneeling around me doing supportive midwife duties of caring and assisting. The labor continued to intensify and my water broke with a splash as I pushed just as Beth suspected it would (my “water broke” moments before birth.) Laura was on perineum duty and essential oils for aromatherapy, while Tasha was helping and apprenticing and keeping me grounded.
The end of pregnancy was arriving. I knew he was coming, but I also could feel how hard it was and I felt the burning in my vagina as he made his way down. I wondered if I was strong enough to push through or would I hold him back? I wanted to hold back… so I thought. I needed strength and courage to push him out and used my voice to moan with each push, while sweating, using the weight of my body with each contraction, and it was all happening. I did have a pushing fantasy that it would be a natural reflex and that means the body and baby push without force and common with the right environment and proper addressing of fears and body structure.
The energy changed and I could feel I needed to push very hard. I knew then I would most likely tear. I could feel pain with the stretching. I was very clear early on that I wanted pictures and videos. I also wanted to be involved no matter what and present for it all. My midwife Beth placed my hand on my vagina and I could feel my son crowning and it motivated me. It gave me permission to continue and move past any issues.
Once his head was delivered then the rest of him followed; he was crying with a gurgling water surprise; Going from water to land. Rene was asked if he wanted to catch him. Rene did! Rene followed Beth’s lead and brought him to my chest as I was on the birth stool. Forest was covered in a lot of vernic and birthy goodness. I was over joyed and beyond happy. I held him to my chest and could feel the umbilical cord still connecting us. He was finally here and he was perfect. He was 22 inches and 8 pounds 7 ounces and born August 24, 2016 at 4:09AM.
Rain saw his brother born in our home with the help of Wendy getting him out of bed. We asked Rain for months and weeks if he wanted to see his brother born and leaving it up to him. He did. 3minutes before he was born Rain witnessed it. I remember seeing the biggest smile on Rain’s face. He was so happy. He said baby came out like a rocket ship and shot out. After that Rain would be telling us how he could not stop kissing him and what a cutie pie he was. That week we hugged a lot and cried. Rain was officially a big brother.
Daddy was so involved in the labor and birth. It was very powerful. Rene was very nervous like any father would be. He was present and involved in supporting me and loving me with great trust. He did whatever needed to be done. How lucky for Forest to be touched by his father for the first moments of life.
This is my healing birth story of my second birth of my son, and I had no idea how it was all going to progress. The birth was deeply wild, amazing, powerful, fearful, and just about perfect. I could not have done it without Rene, Rain, Wendy, Beth, Laura, and Tasha. My family has expanded in more ways then I could ever imagine. I am thankful and deep with love for all those involved in our pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
Kelly Meehan, MA
Supporting women/men all around the world with mentorship, private sessions, and programs aligned within conception, pregnancy, and birth loss. Visit Birth Healing www.birthhealing.com & www.soulbabycommunication.com/